13 Things Moms Can Do to Feel More Rockstar-ish

I know so many moms who are going through rough times right now, stressed to the max, feeling overwhelmed, lost, (even some of my married friends). They all know I have been there myself and I will tell you these are some of the things that have gotten me to a better place:

1. Yoga (first thing you do everyday, or most days, in front of a window, I recommend Tone It Up (YouTube).

2. Deep Focus playlist on Spotify (listen to it during yoga, while your working, doing homework, meditating, etc.).

3. Find a job that pays you enough to live the life you want. If the one you have right now doesn't, keep looking. 

4. Buy a house half the price of what you think you can afford.

5. Let someone babysit your kids once every two weeks or so, even if it costs you $20-40.

6. Read something everyday (I alternate between self-help & novels).

7. Find a group of friends (or just one friend) and schedule dinner at least once a month (preferably at a winery!)

8. Find a good therapist. They're worth the money. 

9. Watch tv/Netflix/a movie (not the news!) after you put your kids to bed, even if it's just 30 minutes & even if you're tired.

10. Take your kids on play dates so you and the other mom(s) can see that you're not the only one being driven crazy.

11. Write. Keep a journal or start a blog. It doesn't matter if anyone else reads it. It's for you. If you don't express your feelings in a healthy way, you will keep feeling the way you're feeling.

12. Be selfish sometimes. Even if you feel guilty doing something for yourself, you will be a better mother/wife/person after you take care of yourself! 

13. Keep being a rockstar. Regardless of how you feel sometimes, you ARE rocking it. 🤘🏼

Moms: Go Out and Find Yourself

This one is for the moms...the overworked, underpaid, under-appreciated, overly attentive, guilt-ridden moms. You know who you are. You do everything for everyone and then some. You leave little, if any, time in your day to take care of yourself. And even if you had the extra time, you're so accustomed to doing everything for everyone else that you wouldn't know what to do with the extra time. I cannot count how many mothers I have encountered recently who have told me they are being stretched as far as they can go. They are tired, frustrated, lost, and at their wit's end. They don't feel like they can function one more day at the pace they've been going. I'm here to help with that.

This is not just for autism moms, or working moms, or stay-at-home moms. This is for ALL moms. I've been where you are right now. Not just once, but many times, and for extended periods (2+ years at the very least). I gave birth to my daughter (my oldest) in a room with my mother, grandmother, and two very best friends. It was one of the darkest, yet best, days of my life. I raised my daughter by myself until she was nine months old. Her father and I got back together and a year later, I was pregnant with my son. When I was seven months pregnant, I found myself single yet again. I have raised both of them by myself ever since. Believe me when I tell you, it was not easy. And by not easy, I mean nearly impossible. When I used to think of single moms, I thought "I'm sure that's kinda hard." Wow, did I underestimate just how hard it would be. I had no idea. I was at my lowest point when my son was just under a year old. I was exhausted, sleep-deprived, lonely, depressed, anxious, distraught. You name it, I probably went through it at one point or another. I think I had post-partum depression, but how could I really distinguish that from everything else I was feeling?? It was all a blur. The bad news is that I have very few good memories of the first few years of my children's lives. I was operating in survival mode. My memories are vague. I remember crying a lot; not exactly how I pictured becoming a mother. I won't go into receiving my kids' autism diagnoses when they were two and four years old.  That was an entirely different adjustment.

However, the good news is that all of that is in the past and I have moved on. This year I took it upon myself to get healthy. And not in a physical way (although I recommend that too). I started seeing a therapist. I found a primary care physician for the first time in 5+  years. I started on minimal medication. I started doing yoga and meditating regularly. I started reading self-help books (about things other than being a mom). I started going out with friends occasionally. I bought a guitar. Do I plan on going on tour anytime soon? Of course not, but it's something I've always loved so I am letting myself indulge in seemingly silly things sometimes. I can tell you right now that if I can get myself to a mentally healthy place, you can too. You just have to start setting some time aside for yourself to TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Believe me, when you achieve this, you will be able to take much better care of your family. So find a hobby, schedule a night out with your friends once a month, go get a massage or your hair done, get your finances in order, put your kids to bed an hour earlier so you can watch what you want to watch on Netflix, take up that hobby you've always been dying to do (even if you think it will not lead to anything). There are so many ways to take care of yourself and to give yourself that feeling of hope and independence you once had. Just because we become moms does not mean you should lose sight of yourself entirely. Because one day our kids will be grown. And when that day comes, you need to know who you are. So go out and find yourself.

These resources might help you as much as they've helped me:

Headspace app

Pocket Yoga app

Mindsight by Daniel Siegel

OCALICON 2015

Two weeks ago, I attended OCALICON for the second consecutive year. For those of you that don't know, OCALI is the Ohio Center for Autism and Low Incidence and they have an annual conference in Columbus every November. I'm a nerd for research conferences and it was great to attend this year with great friends. Last year I went not knowing a single person, but so much has changed in the past year and I've made so many great friends and professionals in the autism community. There were lots of great presentations to choose from this year, so I packed as much as I could in over the three days.

There were a few reoccurring themes throughout the conference that stuck out to me. Some of the hot topics included: interoception, emotion regulation, UDL, anxiety, and peer-mediated intervention and instruction (PMII). I picked up a couple of great new books: Uniquely Human by Barry Prizant, PhD. and Interoception: The Eighth Sensory System by Kelly Mahler. Another book I'm planning on ordering is Kindergarten and ASD: How to Get the Best Possible Experience for your Child by Margaret Oliver. A few of my favorite presentations included Social Emotional Engagement Within a Universal Design for Learning in the Classroom by Emily Rubin, Uniquely Human by Barry Prizant, Self-Regulation Techniques from the Perspective of a Young Adult by my friend, Chloe Rothschild, Teaching Emotional Regulation: Essential Skills for Students with ASD by Lori Jackson, The Kindergarten Transition: How to Advocate for a Smart Start for the Child with ASD by Margaret Oliver, and Complexities Within Diagnosis and Treatment: Exploring Anxiety and ASD by Szanto, Gonda, Loudon, and Perren.

A few good apps I came across during the conference were KidConnect by The Connections Model, LLC ($11.99). It is designed for students with ASD as well as individuals with other behavior/regulation issues. It helps individuals understand their behavior by pairing the behavior with the underlying cause: their feelings. It is used to prevent kids from having to leave the classroom to work through their behaviors. LOVE this idea. Another great app is MindShift. MindShift (free) allows you to set up a personalized plan to help manage your anxiety and learn coping skills. The third app I learned about at OCALICON this year was the Therapeutic Listening app by Vital Links.

I'm sure I will be posting several more times on specific topics from OCALICON so stay tuned!

My friend, Chloe, and I.

Timocco - Virtual-motion, Therapy Games

I recently attended OCALICON and, while there, I stopped at the Timocco booth. I had heard of Timocco before, but it was great to meet Eran and Jayne and learn more about Timocco. This is a fantastic, interactive product for anyone looking to improve their fine or gross motor skills or just looking to have some fun! My son loves Timocco and it holds his attention while keeping him on his feet. I have attached some videos of him playing Timocco so they would all be in one place. Feel free to ask me any questions about using Timocco or contact the staff at Timocco. They are awesome!

Kai playing Falling Fruit

Kai playing Order Up

Kai playing What's Next?

My Two Superheroes

Back in June, a friend of mine informed me of an awareness walk being held in September at the Toledo Zoo, hosted by NWO Apraxia Support. We had already registered for an awareness walk with another organization for that same day so I did not think we would be able to do both. But the NWO Apraxia Support Family Fun Day & Awareness Walk sounded too good to miss. So I made the decision to change our plans and we registered. Fast forward to this past weekend.

My parents, myself, and my two superheroes attended the NWO Apraxia Support Family Fun Day & Awareness Walk on Saturday and my kids were treated like absolute superheroes. This organization recognized 93 superheroes, which includes children with Childhood Apraxia of Speech (CAS) and other invisible disabilities (Autism Spectrum Disorder, Sensory Processing Disorder, Anxiety, ADHD, etc.). They provided these superheroes with capes, medals, thousands of dollars worth of  donated therapy items, and a visit from the Toledo Police Department SWAT Team (dressed as superheroes). Included in the cost of registration were also t-shirts, lunch, admission to the Toledo Zoo, carousel ride, etc. There was also a live auction, a silent auction, and a DJ.

      

Needless to say, I am now a proud supporter of NWO Apraxia Support, and you should be too. This is one of the few organizations out there that provides practical, tangible, needed support to families. They also have a grant program, which provides families with funds to supplement therapies, treatments, activities or equipment. Most of the items provided for the auctions and to the superheroes were donated by equally awesome organizations. A big shout out to those donors for contributing to the day. To see a list of the sponsors, click here.

Saturday was a day my kids and I will never forget. After everything they've been through, they deserve to be treated like superheroes. Thank you, NWO Apraxia Support, for making that a reality.

Equine Therapy and Why We Love It

My daughter has been a rider with Riders Unlimited Inc. in Oak Harbor since June 2014. It was determined that Karys had some developmental delays in October 2013. She was officially diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder in August 2014. She struggled with echolalia, speech delays, social delays, among other things. I noticed very early on that she has a love for animals. Equine therapy has a lot of physical benefits for individuals with disabilities, but I chose to sign Karys up because of the social and communication benefits I knew it would have for her. 

Karys on her first day at RUI, June 2014

I did not grow up around horses, and do not consider myself a "horse person", so I was a little apprehensive signing Karys up for the program. However, I was quickly reassured by the staff's attentiveness and expertise. They have taken Karys in and taught her all the basic riding techniques, as well as leading, filling water buckets, feeding, etc. As Karys gets older, I expect us to get more involved in helping out with chores at the barn on a regular basis.

Ready to ride, June 2014

I will never forget the look on Karys's face on her first day. She was in love. It is difficult to recognize some of her delays when she is interacting with the horses, because she opens up around animals. Another rider about a year older than Karys has been riding on the same day and time since Karys started in the summer of 2014. Karys immediately started saying "hi" to the little girl and walking right up to her and waving. I don't think I had ever seen her interact with another child like that before. She had always kept to herself or played in a corner reciting her movies over and over. 

Leading Sprite back into his stall after a session

Since Karys started equine therapy (among other therapies), she has become more social, more engaged, and her speech has dramatically improved as a result of that. She still has some delays but she is making great progress. Animals bring something out in her that people never could. 

Karys in her favorite RUI shirt

Riders Unlimited offers spring, summer, fall, and winter sessions for individuals with disabilities. According to their website, The program is "open to individuals four years old and older who have been diagnosed with a disability and referred by their physician to participate." They also offer riding lessons open to the public.

Karys and Sprite

RUI is hosting a fundraiser later this month: the annual Runners for Riders 5k Costume Run/Walk. The event will be held at 8:30 a.m. at East Side Park in Fremont, OH on October 31. Even if you don't want to participate in the run/walk, please wear your costumes and come cheer us on!

RUI Costume Run/Walk, October 2014

For more information on RUI, please visit their website or their Facebook page. 

My Two Soccer Rockers

My two soccer rockers did great at their first game last night!! I am so proud of them. I'd been waiting for this day since before they were even born. If you would've asked me a year and a half ago if I thought Kai would ever be able to play (let alone at 3 years old), I would've said no. If you would've asked me 2 weeks ago if Karys would be able to play I would've said no (which is why I didn't even sign her up officially and she doesn't have a team shirt). But here we are!! That is why you NEVER SAY NEVER with autism. Or anything.

Karys was only good for one quarter, but Kai hung in there the entire game. He hated sitting out every other quarter! Karys was mad because she said she wanted the ball! (I told her to run faster).Most importantly, they had so much fun. Their coach is so patient with them and really is exactly who they needed as a coach. I told him about Karys's diagnosis (because it's rather obvious when she wanders off the field), but not about Kai's. Kai is his little buddy and coach calls him batman because Kai wore his batman shirt to the first practice. I don't know how we keep getting so lucky meeting the right people for us. This has definitely been a year of many positive changes for us.