Mommy First Rockstar Second: It would be easier for us to quit. Here's why we don't...

My daughter has been taking dance lessons since she was 18 months old, with the exception of the year my son was born (that was too much for me to handle by myself). I don't know whether she particularly enjoys it or not, but she tolerates it. She tolerated it more this year than last year, probably because she's been going to the same studio and had the same teachers for 2 years so it is a regular part of her routine now. Last year it was a struggle every week to get her dressed and ready for practice...she resisted. This year, it was much easier to get her ready, but during practice she still seemed aloof and uninterested. She has a teacher at the studio that has been by Karys's side since day one. She has to give Karys one-on-one attention all throughout practice or she would probably just wander around the room while the other students dance.

The teachers or studio director have never once made us feel unwelcome or like we were a burden for them. I'm sure some days they think about how much easier it would be if Karys were not in dance (as do I and as does Karys I'm sure), but we all keep trudging on because we see how much progress she's made in the last two years. She's not an expert dancer at 5 years old by any means, but the progress she has made can be seen in her increased level of participation and in her social skills. It would be easier for us to quit. I think about that nearly every week, and especially at the end of the year during recital week. I have to use her picture schedule to prepare her for putting her costume on and being on stage for 3 nights in a row. I have to make sure she takes a nap and eats enough beforehand so she doesn't have a meltdown in the dressing room. And there is really no way to prepare her for sitting in the dressing room for 3 hours each night. She just has to tough it out....without mommy.

Two out of the three nights last week she did amazing. But Friday night I thought we were going to have to make a run for it and head out before the finale. She got upset in the dressing room so one of the volunteers was walking around the hallway with her and she happened to see her brother and I (who were taking a break) and after that it was utter meltdown chaos for both of them. They were both wailing uncontrollably in the hallway and Karys kept saying she wanted to go bye-bye. I texted my parents for help ASAP because I knew I needed to separate them so I could settle Karys down. After 15-20 minutes of me trying to talk her into returning to the dressing room, one of the AWESOME moms in the dressing room (that was able to relate to Karys last year as well) calmed Karys down enough to talk her into going back on-stage for the finale at the last minute. Each of the past two years, Karys sits on her special teacher's lap during the finale. This is the only thing that keeps her regulated. But during the finale, her teacher has to stand up and accept an award. Friday night (the night of the meltdown), Karys started wailing on-stage, so her teacher went back to sit with her. Saturday night, instead of crying, Karys took it upon herself to walk up to the front of the stage with her teacher to accept the award. She was smiling and waving at all the moms in the audience that looked like me. She finally found me and the rest of the family in the audience and her smile lit up the auditorium.

I know it is not always easy for the teachers, or me, or for Karys. But there are moments that make it all worth it for me, and hopefully for them and her too. I don't keep Karys in dance because I think she loves it (maybe someday). I keep her in it because I want her to stay involved. I want to give her the opportunity to make friends. I want to give her opportunities to build her social skills, and face her auditory sensitivity. I keep her in dance because being around other kids and having these experiences is how she will learn about the world. In just a few weeks I will be in the wedding of my best friend whom I met through dance when I was three years old. Karys may or may not be blessed with those same friendships, but I am not going to deny her those opportunities. No matter how hard it is some days.