What if I hadn't

As parents, we spend so much time wondering "what if I had..." when it comes to our children. For example, what if I had ordered more speech therapy for my child? What if I had doubled up on their play therapy hours? What if I had enrolled them in that Autism school instead of public school? What if I had spent more time interacting with them instead of watching tv/reading/sleeping? What if I had taken them to a different doctor? What if I had caught it sooner? You can spend the rest of your life asking "what if I had" questions and, believe me, you will NEVER find the answers. By definition, it is impossible. Unless you figure out how to rewind time. In which case, please let me know.

So instead, I recommend an alternative to asking "what if I had" questions. Try asking "what if I hadn't". Ask anyone that knows me and they will tell you I am typically a glass half-empty type of person. So trust me, it is not any more difficult for you to follow this exercise than it is for me. But after all, us parents work SO hard for our kids every single day and will continue to do so for the rest of our lives. This goes double for single parents, and quadruple (or more) for parents with children on the Autism spectrum (or other disabilities). So, give yourself a break for 5 minutes a day and ask yourself "what if I hadn't?" What if I hadn't recognized that something was amiss with my child? What if I hadn't started asking questions and doing research? What if I hadn't had them evaluated? What if I hadn't taken them to therapy last week? Or the week before that? What if I hadn't read that article on that intervention that offered a breakthrough for my child?

Sometimes we get so focused on what STILL needs to be done that we forget what we already HAVE done. Of course it is EASY to get discouraged when you compare certain aspects of your child's development to a neurotypical child. But it is counterproductive to compare even two neurotypical children. Instead, compare your child to your child one year ago. Or two years ago. Chances are you have seen great progress. So instead of asking yourself "what if I had", ask yourself "what if I hadn't" and give yourself a pat on the back.

k.

Last day of preschool 2014-2015.